5- 4- 3- 2-1 Happy New Year!
Champagne bottles pop, fireworks go off, the music gets louder as the beat drops, and you turn to Stacey, your best friend to tell her happy New Year, but she’s a bit preoccupied getting a New Years’ kiss from her boyfriend.
You turn left to hug Tanya but oh yeah- she’s boo’d up too. You stand awkwardly, keep that smile on your face and catch a quick glance around the room. Single never felt so bad.
The worst part is that the feeling you got at the pit of your stomach follows you all through the year.
I know that feeling, and know how much it can suck.
But I’m here with some good news for you.
You don’t have to lower your standards and settle down with James to get rid of the sting of loneliness that pops up ever so often.
Here’s how to ditch loneliness in 2018 and be happy and complete on your own (so you’re not left feeling isolated and alone come February 14th).
How to be Single, Happy, and Complete:
1. Monitor Your Media
Watch your social media, movie, and music intake. I’m not saying that you need to block your coupled friends and avoid romantic comedies at all costs. But if you find that your timeline’s filled with engagement rings and photos of baecations, try following other pages to dilute your feed a bit.
And while there’s nothing wrong with romantic comedies, make an effort to watch movies where the lead doesn’t need a prince (or princess) charming for their happy ending.
Movies like Nappily Ever After are a great reminder that a relationship isn’t the end all be all, and that you can begin living a complete and happy life even when you’re single.
2. Learn to Love Your Own Company
Learning to truly enjoy spending time with yourself is what will make your a Saturday night alone feel less like solitary confinement and more like an amazing opportunity to spend some quality time with you.
3. Nurture Your Relationship with Yourself
This step will help you learn how to love your own company. You’ll never be able to appreciate being alone if you don’t like yourself first.
4. Connect To Something Greater Than Yourself
Join a community or serve a purpose that has meaning to you. Some ideas are volunteering, going to church, joining a local sports club, taking a twerk class or joining a wine club.
Being a part of something larger than yourself will give you a greater sense of belonging and help you overcome feelings of loneliness.
5. Practice Self Love & Self Care
A. Be Your Own Hype Man Treat yourself the way you’d like your partner to treat you. Shower yourself with compliments and show yourself some love. You’re worth it and you shouldn’t wait for someone else to show you that.
B. Treat Yourself and Take Care of You The idea here is for you to feel your best. Do your hair, get your nails done, and shave your legs during the winter - even if you’re the only one who’ll get to feel how smooth they are.
Don’t allow being single to stop you from being the best version of yourself.
6. Show Your Home Some Love, Too
I’m a strong believer that your physical environment affects your internal state. In other words, if you live in a mess, you’ll feel like a mess on the inside too.
Clean your house and keep it organized. Don’t wait for friends to visit or a date night at your place to tidy up and burn some candles. You deserve a beautiful space too.
7. Hygge it Up
Something about a plush blanket, a cozy knit sweater, a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows melting on the top, a vanilla candle burning & watching a Million Little Things (my new favourite show) makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Adding a little hygge to your Saturday night won’t completely alleviate your desire for a relationship (but it sure helps).
8. Tune the Noise Out
The next time Aunty Cheryl and Grandma Kathy start hitting you with the “so, when are you going to settle down? Tick Tok” questions practice tuning them out.
Having 1-2 standard answers and recognizing that they do actually have good intentions at heart helps with this. Times have changed and there’s no longer a deadline for you to be married with 2.5 kids and a dog named Fluffy by the time you're 28.
9. Discover You
Get to Know Yourself on a deeper level. Now is your time to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Learn more about you, discover what you love, and do more of it.
10. Start Up a Passion Project
That thing you’ve wanted to do for the past 3 years but haven’t gotten around to… Get around to it and do it now.
Do something that takes you away and puts you in a state of flow. This works best if your passion project is something that you can do at least weekly.
11. Get Working
Use this time to build on your career. Focus on that promotion, hit that next milestone for your business, or take the course to make that career switch you’ve been thinking about.
Being single sucks a lot less when you have a lot going for you. You may even begin to appreciate having the extra time and energy to work on your goals.
Side Note: The Life by Design Planner is the perfect tool for this step.
It helps you to:
a. Get clear on what you want
b. Turn those desires into clear, achievable and actionable steps and
c. Organize your days, weeks and months so that you can achieve those goals and transform your dreams into a reality.
12. Keep a Positive Attitude
Watch out for pessimism and monitor your thoughts for limiting beliefs. Practice focusing on the positive side of being single and respond to your pessimistic and negative thoughts with optimistic and positive ones.
13. Impress Yourself
Master that skill you’ve wanted to learn, do your thing at work, and dress for the runway tomorrow.
Wow yourself. Because, like I said earlier, being single really isn’t so bad when you’ve got a lot going on for yourself.
14. Have a Weekly Self Dates
This is actually a great practice to have whether you’re single or in a relationship.
By having a weekly self-date, I simply mean that you should plan to do something you absolutely love every week. Your self date could be that Saturday hygge-infused night I talked about in step 6, doing your nails on Sunday afternoons, or going to your favourite ice cream spot on Wednesday nights.
The idea here is to make plans with yourself and to have something to look forward to weekly.
This is my personal favourite tip because it helps you accomplish many of the other steps I mentioned earlier.
Weekly self dates help with getting to know yourself better, they can be a part of your pampering and self-care routine, they're a great way to show yourself some love, they help in nurturing your relationship with yourself and they help you learn to love your own company.
Now I have a confession to make...
You may still catch those single blues come February 14th but if you do the 14 things we just talked about, the days leading up to and following Valentine’s day will feel a lot less lonely.
So, do these 14 things consistently enough, and you just may find yourself feeling Happy & Complete, in spite of being single.
Before I Go...
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It's a 5-Step Guide designed to help you level up your life and become (an even better version of yourself).
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Until the next time